Looking Back, Looking Ahead

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Early on in a new year it is always time of reminiscing about the year gone by. Well, no, usually one does that towards the end of December. But the end of December was so busy for me this time round that I literally hadn't had half a minute to sit down and write something. I only managed to think about it and I'm sitting down and writing now. Which is just as fitting, because my birthday is coming up, so I am allowed a bit of retrospection, aren't I? 

Castel Gandolfo, photo by MarieMej :)

 

Looking Back

It is almost too easy to look at my life the way it is, compare it to how I was this time last year and come to the conclusion that surprisingly little has changed. I am still liviging at the same place where I lived a year ago, I still haven't managed to find myself a job,... Hardly anything is different, if you think about it. At least not on the outside. If you're anything like me, it really is too easy to look at your life and see only the un-achieved, the never-happened and the went-totally-wrong. Do you know what I say to that? Easy is boring! and frankly, a little too depressing. So I went through the trouble of thinking about last year and coming up with several super positive points of my life in 2013. Daring to share, here they are:
  • I took part in recoding and releasing a CD with the choir. The first album we did in a proper studio :) The recording was a wonderful experience! and a lot of hard work too. Including a bit of a melt down on my side, and then a magnificent come back on the next day :)
  • I tackled a major fear of mine and dealt with a health situation that was getting unbearable. If you consider my strong antipathy/fobia of doctors and medical environments, this was about the bravest thing I have ever done. It required a lot of courage, strength (more mental then physical) and patience. And... it's done :) Took me a couple of months to bounce back, but I'm all good and felling much better than before. Yay!
  • During my recovery I started this blog :) and it has been one of the lights and joys in my life ever since :) It is hard to explain to less internety people than I am, but this little website is like a home where I am 100% me, the me that I want to be. And it makes me happy :) and it seems that sometimes other people appreciate it as well :D
  • I have learnt things about friendship this year. To my great surprise, I realized that... the people that I have in my life... The fact that I know them now doesn't meant that I'm stuck with them for the rest of my life. And it doesn't meant that I should be stuck with them and just them. Things change. Friendships change. And I can actually make new friends. Granted, maybe it takes me a little bit longer to get to know somebody new and let them know me... But I think I have lost the general neagative attitude that I used to have when it came to meeting new people. This used to be me: "New people? Ugh! No. No way! I'm gonna go hide in my room. I don't need no new people in my life, thank you very much." *runs off, leaving a trail of whirling dust* Well, the fact is that I do need new people in my life. Fact no. 2: There is nothing wrong with taking time for myself if I need it. Fact no.3: There is nothing wrong with socializing either! It can actually be fun! (Ka-booom! Discovery of the year!) All in all, Yay for coming to terms with one's introversion!
  • Doctor Who <3 Need I say more?
  • Hudson Taylor <3 ... ... <3
These last two, deemed as my "cultural discoveries" of 2013 have been an endless source of passion, energy, inspiration and general... life force! So this is a public thank you to Kate and Elizabeth who have, respectively, introduced me to these two cultural phenomena. I should just shut up. I just called Hudson Taylor a phenomenon.

I would also like to thank Clara O. Oswald for making me a dresses kind of girl :) My wardrobe appreciates it greatly.

Looking Ahead...

 

What do I see? Not much to be honest. I don't mean that my planner is empty. Of course it's not. There are things coming up. But I try not to paint the pictures of future too specifically,... Or should I rather say, if I paint any pictures of my future, I am very well aware of the fact that they are just my pictures. That doesn't mean they are going to happen. Then again, why couldn't they..?

As for new year's resolutions, I am a bit sceptical towards this concept. Don't get me wrong I am all for self improvement and trying to change your unhealthy habits and what not, I just don't think the term "resolution" works for me. It seems that as soon as I put something down on the paper and make it an "official" resolution, it is bound to fail no matter what it is. So in the past couple of years I have refrained from writing down lists of things that I know in advance I would never do. Instead I'm trying to focus on a new, happier mindset and a pro-active attitude. Last year I comprised this into a sentence which has been ingraved in my head for a good couple of months and has actually helped me to do a lot of things.

sign by me. feel free to share, but credit me pleeeaze.
 
I should get this stuck back in my head. It's about time I got back in the saddle (figuratively speaking) and sorted out this life. Not necessarily all at once, but little by little. Step by step. And I believe that if I keep this active mindset, this will to do, or even just try, it will consequentially affect all those things I might be putting on a resolutions list were I writing one. Be it something small an insignificant like getting rid of some old textbooks, eating more healthy, or be it something big and important like finally getting a job for Christ's sake. I just don't want to sit here in my room, scared to do things because they might not work out. I think, the key is to try if they work out. If they do, great! If they don't, too bad. Never mind, try again next time. But it's better than not knowing and sitting at home wondering.

Blimey, look at me :) Can somebody please link me to this post later in the year, if you see me being desperate over my own existence and bored and fed up with my life?

I like this positive and active conclusion. I think I should stop writing before I diverge somewhere else.

What are the things that you will remeber about 2013? And have you given yourself any new year's resolutions? Tell me in the comments, I'm looking forward to reading them.

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